How to dress your body shape in underwear

‘Does my bum look big in this’, ‘do I need to suck it in’ and ‘how’s my cleavage looking’ are all things we ask the girls frequently. The answer to these subconscious body questions is simply to dress yourself in the right undies. Of-course matching sets, so you always have that feel good figure.

Apple: Time to hold up those brilliant bazingas with a supporting balconette bra. This bra shape literally gives you that ‘corset cleavage’ as if you had two hands cupping your boobs from the underneath. This lift gives the illusion of a slimmer waist and puts your body back into proportion looking less top heavy. Big busted and voluptuously curvy is the new way to describe your apple shape and keep telling guys ‘my eyes are up here.’

Banana: If you complain constantly about having a ‘boyish figure’ and that you have no definition of bust, waist or hips. All you have to do is invest in a pair of big pants. We’re not talking frumpy granny pants or period pants. High waisted knickers synch in your waist to give the illusion that you are a curvaceous woman. If you want to go the full hog throw on a longline bra and pull every bit of boob round into a cleavage. No more banana, hello scrumptious.

Pear: All the bottom heavy ladies, we know the struggles of trying to pull up those tight clothes over them big booties. Keep it simple and slip on a thong that’s going to really show off your assets and your man will know exactly where to look. To draw the eyes up to your chest, wear a plunge bra that’s going to pull your bust into the centre and give you a cleavage to die for, now you have bust and bum for everyone to admire.

Hourglass: If you are hourglass you’re one of the lucky ones and can wear any shape and style of underwear, dependant on the look you want to go for that morning, evening, or night. A classic lace bra and panties can be pulled off very well with this figure, which is simplistically beautiful, and a great starting point to build a stunning underwear collection.

New year new me // face your fears

You’re surrounded by shadows in a room with the walls closing in. You can hear mumbles of concerned voices around you, everything becomes blurred and you can’t see anyone. The voices fade and you concentrate on the hiss of your breathing, you can’t control it, it fastens and your body starts to jolt in rhythm with the irregular breath. Your throat becomes sharp and it becomes harder to breath. Now you’re holding yourself, alone, hearing and seeing nothing but emptiness and you start to rock back and forth, shaking and still crying with shock. You’re not alone, you just can’t control yourself or calm yourself down enough to focus on anything else but the one thing that made you collapse into a heap of despair.

This is the debilitating effect of a phobia; although they may all be different they affect everyone in the same way. That feeling of distress, panic and despair can be caused by anything: snakes, water, sick, spiders, wind or perhaps travelling. And even the strangest of fears such as buttons are not unheard of. In fact many ‘normal’ people go through these emotions on a daily basis.

19 year-old Harriet Wollaston knows what it is like to have a phobia, having to lock fear away in the back of her mind, finding it extremely traumatising having to travel to and from work daily via the train. After seeing, first hand, someone attempt suicide when jumping in front of a train almost seven years ago.

“I have to face my fear twice a day, every single day and it never gets any easier.”

Not only is the daunting factor of getting on a train enough for Harriet; the lack of space on a train at rush hour means she also suffers from claustrophobia,

“If I feel like I'm getting too panicked I have to dig my nails into my palms because it's really difficult to avoid the fear, sometimes so hard that they cut and bleed.”

To the average person this may seem out of the ordinary, but Cognitive Behavior Therapist (CBT) Paul Blenkiron states that fears, “cannot be explained or rationalized.” A sufferer of fear or anxiety thinks that there are no solutions and that no one understands, and that’s what they keep telling themselves. But fear is a norm, because “it is a natural human reaction to danger. It helps us to survive.”

For the older generation, what they may fear and the anxiety paired with that may continue into later life, making it harder to manage, even though they have had many years to face it.

Jan Bates still trembles at the thought of slimy and scaly creatures despite living with her phobia for sixty years. She recalls: “as a small child my uncle told me to close my eyes and hold my hand out, I thought it was sweeties that he was presenting to me, but it was a worm. At that stage it was very near to my mouth, and from that moment on I've been petrified.”

Now her fear has grown worse. “I don't cope well at all.  I still check my bed every night for fear of snakes at the bottom of the bed.”

When fear continually interferes with daily life and is not dealt with it can develop into a much rarer case of a ‘complex phobia’, named complex because these are more pervasive and underline lots of other specific phobias. Another problem with not acknowledging your fear is that it could lead to an anticipatory anxiety which involves becoming nervous ahead of time, constantly worrying about coming into contact with or being in the same place or situation with your phobia.

This is why it is “important to face that situation very soon after treatment and get the real live feedback that actually you can face it and deal with it,” according to renowned hypnotherapist Lynda Hudson.

In her line of work, Lynda comes across the most common terrors as well as some unheard of anxieties and molds the recipient’s early thoughts associated with such fear to ‘rewind the movie’.

“You have to find a method to break the original association between the originating object, situation etc. and the fear response.”

For both Dr Blenkiron and L Hudson a fear is recognized by the person affected as being a problem, one that interferes with their daily life and in order for them to overcome such a problem they must firstly address it.

“I don't think people talk about them enough. It’s such an inwards thing.” Jan understands the problem with phobias being so personal, as no one wants to feel insecure about their flaws. She also states “I don't think my fear is normal at all but I think everyone has a fear of something.”

Phobias are the most common type of anxiety disorder, in the UK an estimated 10 million people are affected by their phobias in daily situations. Phobias can affect anyone, regardless of age, sex and social background. There’s no reason to be afraid of addressing your fear especially when over 15% of the UK suffers.

Take it upon yourself to accept your fear it may be a scar but it makes everyone who they are. “I know that my fear is irrational and I wish I didn't have it, but it's a part of me and I have to try to accept that.”

You are not alone.

Seahaven // live

If it’s not for the forced friendship of the guy rubbing his sweaty bollocks over your back, then the intimate bond you gain with the artist may just make you feel the love for a small venue. The moments when there is no separation between crowd and stage.

Roxx is a swarm of beanies as Seahaven strolls on stage. Silently captivating the audience, Kyle Soto takes to the mic caressing it strangely, sensually. Soto candidly starts to get lost in the music relaying a life story in front of our eyes: ‘It’s Over’. 

They formed in 2009 after discovering a shared love for post-punk. Developing a sound that uplifts the average punk fanatic with its soulful undertones they play each song from the album ‘Winter Forever’ with ache and desire. Next is ‘Black and white’, Craver, DeBartolo and Phillips, join in with the crowds energy rocking out on stage.

The floor starts to thump from the heavy-footed hipsters dribbling as they scream along like the song brings them close to orgasm “But you seem to have forgotten, the promises you promised, where you do not forget about me."

The fast transition from one song to the next keeps the pace of the set high, which is talent considering they haven’t introduced one song.

With passion for soul in each song, Mr. Soto instantly turns on his enticing eyes, staring deeply at each bystander. With knee bends that make him thrust upon the phallic object he holds in his hands, the stand is his pole and we are his screaming worshippers.

“Thank you for being so beautiful” he mumbles, softly. What a weird ending to a wonderful evening.

Sky Ferreira // My night my time // Album Review

If you want to feel like Alice falling down the rabbit hole of auditory hallucination, listen to Sky Ferreira resonate in a bubble of confused emotions. It’s hard to gather exactly what her reputation is at the beginning of the album, or whom it is she blames. At only 21 years old it is clear in her debut album “My Night, My Time” she is still trying to find her feet as a young woman, virtuously screaming out for attention in each and every song as it progresses to portray the pity she feels going through varies of emotions asking us do you know what it feels like.

There is visible incarnation from her label to make Ferreira a bit of everything. The instrumentation is significantly heavier than her vocals, this rebellion allows her to be a tad more vulnerable, in essence letting Sky ‘do her’. This carefully constructed image is how she wants to be seen; she can do pretty and pop so here “My night my time” is Ferreira stripped to the bone with her crack whore chic.

 Making the machine work for her a little too much, with deep fat frying of the lyrics we’ve all heard before: “There's no tomorrow without you…” “I wish this could last forever.” Yet Ferreira does it with a dominating crack of the whip.

Gospel trained, maybe just not in soul: into boys, sex and ostensibly crack and bondage, but fuck it who cares if she is godly in nature. This works for her much like following in the footsteps of original church choir singer Katy Perry, just with more explicit vulgarity.

We don’t need any more pop princesses, Ferreira is essentially grunge for Barbie dolls and there’s no problem with that.

Musical year // Rock and Roll on 2014

Who said rock and roll was intimidating? There has been a role reversal in the year 2013, where pop has become scarier than rock. Yes I said it pop haunts my soul and rock revives it.

This is the year of the rebirth of the rock and roll, indie, alternative and pop-punk movement, maybe due to the shift of the morals behind pop music.

The 90s, a year many of the late teens today remember very well. You recall the girl bands and pop stars singing about love, hate, appreciation and change? Well this continued on into the noughties - many of you however I’m sure were finding your emo style. That was only because you were sooooo emotionally unstable and turned to noisy music to let out your frustration.

Today, the image of alternative music has changed and the anti-establishment genre has become extremely mainstream. GOOD, I FOR ONE AM GLAD. Rock is now about being yourself.

Pop was the happy go lucky, bouncy bouncy gay best friend that has resorted to crack and sex just to get a bit of extra cash. What is wrong with you pop? You’re supposed to be uplifting and extremely cliché. You deserve a slap in the face with a dictionary first and maybe the bible after – and I’m not even religious. Stars such as Miley Cyrus who to be fair looks, acts and sings like a giraffe on LSD, need to review what their music is saying to the listeners.

Where’s all the subliminal messages gone? Find it in the indie music of 2013. Bastille found their feet this year with album Bad Blood where they sing of mythical stories that all have morals to their narratives. Including the classic Icarus who flew too close to the sun and we all know how that ended.

Pop-punk band, The Story So Far may shout their lyrics, oh but they need to be heard. Speaking to the teens of today having little self respect and regard for education. “And to think that you're somebody's daughter away at college not getting smarter. Everything changes when all the lights in the room are as low as you, but don't trip you'll sober up soon. Regain an honest perspective”

The way these bands may portray themselves or relay their vocals could be deemed a little harsh but its not as horrifying as the way pop artists of 2013 display themselves and their so called swag.

Ask yourselves “Why don't you speak it out loud, instead of living in your head?” questioned by the 1975. After all music is there to help us say, do and feel that emotion we didn’t know was there. Pop can’t really help with that when you’re “Shaking it like [you’re] at a strip club.”

the year of the sassy slut // 2013 in music

It certainly is hard out here for a bitch, Lily Allen I applaud you for erecting that middle finger of yours towards the representation of women featured in music videos of 2013.

We as a society have come a long way in the ideals of equality for sexes, but that’s hard to see in the world of music; women are still treated as objects of sex. When you mindlessly oogle at a music video think, are you watching a creative portrayal and storyline to match each lyric or is it simply soft porn?

2013 is the year that female artists embracing their sexuality have gone a tad too far. Stars such as Miley Cyrus and Rhianna who are not afraid to take their music videos to the next level with nudity and voyeuristic features, aren’t really being the perfect role models for the next generation of teenage girls. Their music videos depict them shaking their arses in front of the camera and acting like objects of sex.

If Miley wasn’t enough of a dickhead already she definitely would be after her actions in the wrecking ball video - you are what you eat and clearly you’ve been licking too many lollipops, crazed crack whore Cyrus. Miley stop addressing everyone as your homegirls and young innocent girls of today please don’t be shaking it like [you’re] at a strip club.

Rhianna’s new video as well for Pour it up is bloody provocative, with RiRi at one point being sprawled all over a chair legs flailing in the air. If I had to sit there and watch it with parents I would cringe like there’s no tomorrow, and feel obliged to apologise for the train-wreck of innuendo displayed before them.

Teenagers are impressionable and these images feed them the story that they are enslaved by sex. Lily Allen sets them all straight in her new song Hard out here, released in mid November this year. It no-doubtedly sums up the year 2013 for the music industry.

I completely support Allen in what she is trying to stand up for and others –mainly women- should agree. Women are fed an image of perfection by the media everyday. Girls are criticized for almost anything they do. If you’re not like the celebrities in the videos then you’re not perfect are you? Shame. You're not a size six, and you're not good looking, you should probably lose some weight 'cause we can't see your bones, you should probably fix your face or you'll end up on your own.

I hope to god you can all see the hint of sarcasm there from Allen. Decadence seems to be the overarching theme of music in 2013 lets hope it changes in the months to come so that pop stars can act like lady’s in the public eye instead of bitches.

Bye // most appropriate word ever invented

Bye, the last word that was said. Why it is the most useful word ever invented. Say you want to have a little catch up phone call with your friends (because its been a while the last time you spoke, almost a whole DAY) do not, and I mean unless you cant avoid it, use your mobile.

Bye was the best choice of words out of the whole dictionary, apart from so long or adios or au revoir, well you get the point. It was the best-chosen word because I, along with the whole of the female population, have just spent 30 minutes of my day, 30 minutes of my year, 30 minutes of my life, speaking about absolute rubbish, things irrelevant to anyone else, beyond imagination, a conversation utterly pointless even the females of the 21st century do not even remember what half their conversation was.

In our day and age, its 10p per minute you spend chattering away down the trap that is a mobile phone, so we spent a good £3. Charging a typical gossip fanatic female £1095 a year to talk about nails, shoes, and boys. 

Technology was supposed to create a world of virtual advantage; phones especially created to roam anywhere, anytime, instead they drain us of money. Not only this but you know that thing we used to do? what was it? oh socialise. Socialising has completely been forgotten in today's society all due to the rise in technology, how can sights such as Facebook and Twitter have the audacity to call it a 'social' networking sight? I never knew that having the basic skills to click a few button and type a few words meant that you was an amazing people person. Similar to mobile phones, although i use them myself, why did we have to ring those that we miss, why not pop-in to say hi; instead we constantly chatter away forever forgetting that sacred word of, Bye.

Wasting time and money, all because the phone was there. Bye, the last word that was said.