The benefit of thin walls

In confined space where everything is being shared, tension can start to build between housemates. Be prepared for world war fucking three. When you live in a shared house with a group of hormonal girls, things can get a little complicated. When Uni nights in are getting boring just stir up some shit and there’s no need to stick on the Netflix.

Although you may think you can still have alone time when it comes to living with other people, you are wrong. Surrounded by four walls, you can hear everything going on in the room next door and the room above. Sometimes it’s the kinky stuff going down, after a long night on the town (in that case just plug in the headphones and ride it out) other times its get out the popcorn and enjoy.

Personalities can clash and friendships can crash and burn once you are forced to live in each other’s footsteps. For the majority of the time just put on a smile or just shut the fuck up when having petty issues with the so called Hitler you live with, other times preach till you can no longer have a tantrum.

For those lucky enough to have the front row seat just sit back and enjoy the muffled screams from the neighbouring bedroom. It’s all down to the thin walls that provide the entertaining nights in. 

A quick trip to narnia // how to avoid a creeper

There’s always one guy that you just can’t get to leave you alone after a night out. But when you’re just a little too drunk, sometimes body takes over mind and you invite them home, clever clogs! If you are stuck with some lad in your house you have to think quick on your feet to get them out. One 20-year-old female from Canterbury University in Kent knows a little too much about avoiding the creep...

She explains: “I was out at a black tie event at university when I started kissing this guy, we decided to go back to mine in a cab with our friends. When we got out of the cab his friend could hardly walk, so he walked him home saying he would come back to mine after. When I got home I realised I was absolutely smashed, couldn't really keep my eyes open and was so ready to sleep... probably not the best way to have sex!”

This is when it hit her that she was not in the best state to share her bed with some randomer, so it hit her: “I got my friends to tell the guy I had passed out whist I hid in my wardrobe, searching for the safe haven of Narnia.”

Hiding in her wardrobe was not the simplest of places to tuck away in and she ended up breaking her safe haven in the process.

Downstairs at the time of the escapade was 21 year-old house-mate, Lucy Warner who retells her story: “We opened the door and said she had passed out in bed, he looked pretty disappointed and we could all hear them laughing upstairs.” After leaving him stood at the door trying to cover up for her housemate, Lucy acted like nothing had really happened. After all, it was a norm in their house.

“It was worth it!” she exclaimed. Although not the most orthodox ways of trickery, it worked for this young lady. And to this day, the creep left wanting more has no clue that he was included in a quick game of hide and go seek. 

How to dress your body shape in underwear

‘Does my bum look big in this’, ‘do I need to suck it in’ and ‘how’s my cleavage looking’ are all things we ask the girls frequently. The answer to these subconscious body questions is simply to dress yourself in the right undies. Of-course matching sets, so you always have that feel good figure.

Apple: Time to hold up those brilliant bazingas with a supporting balconette bra. This bra shape literally gives you that ‘corset cleavage’ as if you had two hands cupping your boobs from the underneath. This lift gives the illusion of a slimmer waist and puts your body back into proportion looking less top heavy. Big busted and voluptuously curvy is the new way to describe your apple shape and keep telling guys ‘my eyes are up here.’

Banana: If you complain constantly about having a ‘boyish figure’ and that you have no definition of bust, waist or hips. All you have to do is invest in a pair of big pants. We’re not talking frumpy granny pants or period pants. High waisted knickers synch in your waist to give the illusion that you are a curvaceous woman. If you want to go the full hog throw on a longline bra and pull every bit of boob round into a cleavage. No more banana, hello scrumptious.

Pear: All the bottom heavy ladies, we know the struggles of trying to pull up those tight clothes over them big booties. Keep it simple and slip on a thong that’s going to really show off your assets and your man will know exactly where to look. To draw the eyes up to your chest, wear a plunge bra that’s going to pull your bust into the centre and give you a cleavage to die for, now you have bust and bum for everyone to admire.

Hourglass: If you are hourglass you’re one of the lucky ones and can wear any shape and style of underwear, dependant on the look you want to go for that morning, evening, or night. A classic lace bra and panties can be pulled off very well with this figure, which is simplistically beautiful, and a great starting point to build a stunning underwear collection.

New year new me // face your fears

You’re surrounded by shadows in a room with the walls closing in. You can hear mumbles of concerned voices around you, everything becomes blurred and you can’t see anyone. The voices fade and you concentrate on the hiss of your breathing, you can’t control it, it fastens and your body starts to jolt in rhythm with the irregular breath. Your throat becomes sharp and it becomes harder to breath. Now you’re holding yourself, alone, hearing and seeing nothing but emptiness and you start to rock back and forth, shaking and still crying with shock. You’re not alone, you just can’t control yourself or calm yourself down enough to focus on anything else but the one thing that made you collapse into a heap of despair.

This is the debilitating effect of a phobia; although they may all be different they affect everyone in the same way. That feeling of distress, panic and despair can be caused by anything: snakes, water, sick, spiders, wind or perhaps travelling. And even the strangest of fears such as buttons are not unheard of. In fact many ‘normal’ people go through these emotions on a daily basis.

19 year-old Harriet Wollaston knows what it is like to have a phobia, having to lock fear away in the back of her mind, finding it extremely traumatising having to travel to and from work daily via the train. After seeing, first hand, someone attempt suicide when jumping in front of a train almost seven years ago.

“I have to face my fear twice a day, every single day and it never gets any easier.”

Not only is the daunting factor of getting on a train enough for Harriet; the lack of space on a train at rush hour means she also suffers from claustrophobia,

“If I feel like I'm getting too panicked I have to dig my nails into my palms because it's really difficult to avoid the fear, sometimes so hard that they cut and bleed.”

To the average person this may seem out of the ordinary, but Cognitive Behavior Therapist (CBT) Paul Blenkiron states that fears, “cannot be explained or rationalized.” A sufferer of fear or anxiety thinks that there are no solutions and that no one understands, and that’s what they keep telling themselves. But fear is a norm, because “it is a natural human reaction to danger. It helps us to survive.”

For the older generation, what they may fear and the anxiety paired with that may continue into later life, making it harder to manage, even though they have had many years to face it.

Jan Bates still trembles at the thought of slimy and scaly creatures despite living with her phobia for sixty years. She recalls: “as a small child my uncle told me to close my eyes and hold my hand out, I thought it was sweeties that he was presenting to me, but it was a worm. At that stage it was very near to my mouth, and from that moment on I've been petrified.”

Now her fear has grown worse. “I don't cope well at all.  I still check my bed every night for fear of snakes at the bottom of the bed.”

When fear continually interferes with daily life and is not dealt with it can develop into a much rarer case of a ‘complex phobia’, named complex because these are more pervasive and underline lots of other specific phobias. Another problem with not acknowledging your fear is that it could lead to an anticipatory anxiety which involves becoming nervous ahead of time, constantly worrying about coming into contact with or being in the same place or situation with your phobia.

This is why it is “important to face that situation very soon after treatment and get the real live feedback that actually you can face it and deal with it,” according to renowned hypnotherapist Lynda Hudson.

In her line of work, Lynda comes across the most common terrors as well as some unheard of anxieties and molds the recipient’s early thoughts associated with such fear to ‘rewind the movie’.

“You have to find a method to break the original association between the originating object, situation etc. and the fear response.”

For both Dr Blenkiron and L Hudson a fear is recognized by the person affected as being a problem, one that interferes with their daily life and in order for them to overcome such a problem they must firstly address it.

“I don't think people talk about them enough. It’s such an inwards thing.” Jan understands the problem with phobias being so personal, as no one wants to feel insecure about their flaws. She also states “I don't think my fear is normal at all but I think everyone has a fear of something.”

Phobias are the most common type of anxiety disorder, in the UK an estimated 10 million people are affected by their phobias in daily situations. Phobias can affect anyone, regardless of age, sex and social background. There’s no reason to be afraid of addressing your fear especially when over 15% of the UK suffers.

Take it upon yourself to accept your fear it may be a scar but it makes everyone who they are. “I know that my fear is irrational and I wish I didn't have it, but it's a part of me and I have to try to accept that.”

You are not alone.